


Silver Is Precious (Gold Is Too)

by donniedont



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Summer Camp, Falling In Love, LGBTQ Themes, Love Confessions, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Scheming, Trans Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-23
Updated: 2019-12-23
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:13:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21922726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/donniedont/pseuds/donniedont
Summary: Dimitri is about to spend his tenth summer at Sothis Rainbow Camp, an LGBTQ camp he has attended as a camper and as a counselor.  He is also about to spend his fourth summer pining after Dedue Molinaro, a counselor that has provided nothing but kindness toward him as well as every child he's ever worked with.  Will Dimitri be able to confront his feelings toward Dedue or will he find a way to sabotage himself before he can say anything?  For Dimitri Week Day 4, Modern AU.
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Dedue Molinaro
Comments: 26
Kudos: 81





	Silver Is Precious (Gold Is Too)

**Author's Note:**

> This got... very long... but you can probably tell that I'm someone who is very passionate about camp and LGBTQ outdoor spaces. Which I guess isn't terribly surprising!
> 
> Shout out my FE3H writing pals who helped cheer me on to complete this fic! Especially Eth, Joey, and Elliot. Your feedback and encouragement was greatly appreciated. And happy belated birthday, Dimitri!
> 
>  **Content Warnings:** Internalized ableism, implied discussion of attempts at suicide, suicidal ideation, recollections of visual and auditory hallucinations, disordered eating

The weather was warm enough for Edelgard, Claude, and Dimitri to work on their camp programming in the park. They made an event out of it, packing picnic supplies and stopping by the grocery store to pick up a rotisserie chicken and sides before they laid out on a blanket. They wiped their hands before they took turns typing on Edelgard’s laptop, adding to the document they were collaborating on.

It made summer feel more tangible for Dimitri. In a few months, Edelgard was going to pick up their childhood friends and they were all going to cram in the car to head out to Sothis Rainbow Camp, a camp dedicated to LGBTQ youth.

“Dimitri,” Edelgard said, her eyes focused on her laptop screen, “You said you were going to run ‘leadership exercises’ on Monday during second session. Did you have any specific activities planned?”

“Oh,” Dimitri said, looking up. He had been sitting on the edge of the blanket, running blades of grass between his fingers. He had already stopped eating after a few bites, none of the flavors strong enough for him to taste and the texture too soft to keep him occupied. He was hoping playing with grass would keep him emotionally present, but it didn’t seem to help. “What about the human knot?” he finally suggested, “That always seems to be a good one.”

“Agreed,” she replied, typing it on the document, “But we can’t just do that for half an hour.”

“Uh,” Dimitri started, waving the palms of his hands across the grass. “How about the tree one? You put everyone into pairs. One person in each pair has to be blindfolded and the one who isn’t blindfolded has to describe a tree and watch the other person try to find it.”

“I _need_ to see our kids do that one,” Claude said. He raised his arms over his head and stretched before he flopped next to Dimitri. Dimitri could feel his eyes on him as he tugged on a thick blade of grass, accidentally yanking it out of the ground.

Claude hummed for a moment before he said, “Man, I’m _exhausted_. What about you, Dimarino? I’m thinking we need to take a break.”

Dimitri shrugged as Edelgard shook her head. 

“Claude, you took an international bus ride to get this programming done,” Edelgard pointed out.

“Yeah… that’s true…” Dimitri added weakly.

Claude brought his arms to his face and groaned. “You two are _impossible_ ,” he said, “I get that we need to get this program done, but I also didn’t visit to have one of us have a meltdown over it.” He brought one of his arms down and loosely draped it over Dimitri’s side. “Let’s do a quick tangent, at least. Who’s everyone’s projected camp crush this year? One of you start.”

“ _Claude_ …” Dimitri started.

“I’m already dating my camp crush,” Edelgard said. She typed something in the document before she looked up and had the slightest smile on her face.

“Oh, shit! Wait, are you and Dorothea official?” Claude asked, “I know you’ve been visiting each other a lot, but I didn’t see an announcement… oh, you _planned_ that. Impressive.” 

Edelgard nodded, her smile growing even wider. Claude took a chunk of grass and threw it at her. She gasped, ducking out of the way before she closed the laptop and threw a chunk of grass back. Dimitri blocked his face, scrambling toward the opposite end of the blanket to avoid the crossfire.

Claude sat up, his eyes focused on Edelgard as he said, “Well, let’s hear from Mr. Mitya over here. Camp crush. Go.”

Dimitri sighed. There was no point in hiding something like this when he was going to be glued at their hips for the entire week of camp. “Oh, I mean… my crush is the same as last year,” he said, trying to keep his tone light.

Edelgard and Claude dramatically tossed their heads back and sighed. 

“So Dedue,” Claude said, holding the position.

“Yes… Dedue,” Dimitri confirmed. 

Edelgard pressed her lips together for a long moment. “Well, who’s yours, Claude?” she asked.

“Unimportant,” Claude said, quickly folding over himself. He shuffled closer to Dimitri. “Let’s unpack this.” He pointed at the star pattern that was woven across the blanket. “You’ve had a crush on him for _how_ many summers at this point?” 

Dimitri sighed, wiggling his fingers as he tried to count the summers. “Three?” he asked, “Three. However many years he’s been working at camp.”

“Three,” Edelgard confirmed.

“And you’ve done _nothing_ about it?” Claude asked. 

Dimitri shrugged. Camp crushes were alway such a brazen act of affection at camp. It was rare for anyone to be alone, forcing the courtship to always be exposed to curious spectators. It typically started with a pair of staff members sitting close to each other after hours, to brushes against each other’s faces when they went to their respective cabins, to kisses goodbye at the end of the week. 

Even with three summers as co-workers, Dimitri only had one time that he was truly alone with Dedue. It was last summer, when he had isolated himself in the boat house late at night due to a hallucination that featured floating spectres staring at him with black holes where their eyes should be. Dedue paid them no mind, walking through them and sitting close enough to whisper to him until Dimitri was lucid enough to be escorted back to his cabin.

When Dimitri approached him about it the morning after, Dedue appeared unbothered by the incident. When Dimitri began to leave, Dedue offered his company again should he have another episode.

He never told Claude or Edelgard about the incident. His mental illness was enough of a burden for them to work around, especially when they already had to manage campers who were dealing with their own mental illnesses. 

“It’s not like he would be interested in me, anyway,” Dimitri said, hoping the statement was ambiguous enough.

“Has he been with anyone at camp?” Edelgard asked.

“My intel says no,” Claude replied. Dimitri raised his eyebrows and Claude added, “Ashe! You know, the guy he’s been co-counselors with the past two years! Ashe was apparently into him, but Dedue turned him down. My theory was that he didn’t want to date someone who worked at camp, but Ashe told me during a very mature game of truth or dare with some other counselors, he revealed that he had a crush on someone who was a returning staff member at camp this year.”

“ _Truth or Dare_ …” Dimitri hissed, “Seriously?”

“Hey, I’m not saying I participated, I’m just telling you what was said,” Claude pointed out.

“We have at least twenty returning staff members,” Edelgard murmured. “And camp crushes are rarely people you conveniently work with. It could legitimately be anyone, but Ashe apparently.”

Dimitri flopped further against the ground, reaching out toward the grass ahead of him. He patted at the ground and sighed. The odds were not awful when they were laid out like that. Even then, he couldn’t allow himself to be optimistic. He had so many needs, he couldn’t see himself being a worthwhile partner for anybody, anyway. “Thank you for your help, Claude,” he said, his mouth angled toward the blanket. “I assure you I’m fine with this just remaining a crush and nothing more.”

“I’m just saying you might have a legitimate shot,” Claude said.

“It might also be worth pursuing if it will mean we won’t have to deal with you crushing on him all week,” Edelgard noted. She opened up her laptop again. “Can we call the tangent done and get back to work?”

Dimitri wanted to point out that Claude never revealed his camp crush, but he resisted.

*

Summer arrived and Dimitri found himself packing up Edelgard’s car, trying his best to fit their luggage with enough room to also fit Felix, Ingrid, and Sylvain’s luggage once they picked them up.

Dimitri loved that he was able to experience camp with his childhood friends, but he wished that there was a better carpool system than what they had. The ride played out the same way it always did, with Edelgard driving, Ingrid selecting the music and providing directions, Sylvain making jokes to throw Ingrid off her duties, and Felix grumbling about being stuck in the middle seat. Dimitri tried his best to look out the window, watching the scenery shift from the suburban sprawl of their hometown to the dense forests that the camp was built within.

When they saw the sign for the camp, their frustrations melted. The conversation immediately shifted to their excitement about camp, meeting the children they would be working with, and speculating about whether or not new staff members would be able to make it through the week. They parked the car and were immediately greeted by staff members who were setting up their cabins, the group making sure to keep their introductions brief before they made their way toward the camp director, Byleth.

Byleth was positioned on a fallen log near the dining hall, stapling papers and carefully piling them underneath rocks to ensure they wouldn’t blow away. They waved at the group and waited until everyone was close before they asked, “Did you have a safe trip?”

“We were able to avoid traffic for the most part,” Edelgard said. Felix looked like he had a complaint on the tip of his tongue, but Ingrid elbowed him. Sylvain just sat down, asking if he could help them with stapling packets.

“Everybody is cleaning out their cabins,” Byleth explained, offering their stapler to Sylvain. Sylvain grinned, meticulously stacking papers before he snapped a staple in the left hand corner. “Apparently the cabin for the eight and nine year olds is a total mess,” Byleth added, “Dimitri, Edelgard, can you help out? I have Dorothea and Petra working on your cabins, because they already got theirs set up.”

Edelgard seemed to flinch at the mention of Dorothea. Dimitri smirked, but resisted making any comment about it. 

“We can help out,” Dimitri said, “Let’s go, El.” He waved at Felix, Ingrid, and Sylvain before he walked toward the direction the cabin that was typically reserved for the age group.

Edelgard followed him, shoving her hands in the pockets of her shorts. Dimitri was glad she didn’t see the sneer that was on his face. He turned away from her, focusing on the sights and sounds of camp. A screen door slammed shut as he looked up toward the lake ahead of them. Waves lapped against the floating dock that was reaching out toward the water, causing it to rock and slam back against the water. They located the cabin and heard a strain of a pop song that came out several years ago float from it as the door opened. They watched Ashe walked out with a dust pan full of dirt. He dumped it on the ground before he noticed them. He smiled, waving as they walked up the steps toward him. He asked if they were all right with hugs and Dimitri accepted it, appreciative of the firm embrace.

“Are you here to help?” Ashe asked.

“Yes,” Edelgard said, “You’re not working on this alone, are you?”

“I’m here, as well,” a deep voice said from within the cabin. The door opened again and Dedue’s head poked out of the cabin, mindful of the doorframe that was certainly not tall enough to comfortably fit him. “Hello, Edelgard. Dimitri.”

It took everything in Dimitri to resist a gasp. Dedue had changed his hair style since last summer, shaving it into an undercut with the long part of his hair tied back in a ponytail. He was wearing a crop top, a strip of dark skin exposed between his shirt and his cut off shorts. It made Dimitri self conscious about his choice of travel clothes, which were a baggy pair of shorts and a shirt from some travel hockey team he was on years ago. 

“So what’s the plan?” Edelgard asked.

“We have a pile of mattresses we have to distribute to other cabins,” Ashe explained, “I was doing some pre-sweeping, though I don’t know how helpful it is. I'm thinking we can work together to pass the mattresses around then split up to sweep and wipe down the mattresses we keep?”

“Sounds like a plan,” Edelgard said. Dimitri nodded, following her into the cabin.

They made a plan to check all the surrounding cabins to check the amount of mattresses they had and they began to work together to lift them. Dimitri could see why Edelgard and he were assigned to the task. They were both strong enough to carry the mattresses with relative ease, Dedue and Ashe also pulling their own weight. Once they were able to clear the mattresses out, they split up into two groups. Ashe and Edelgard oversaw sweeping the cabin a second time while Dimitri and Dedue wiped down mattresses. The routine was pleasant, the four of them working wordlessly to the soundtrack of tinny pop music.

Ashe and Edelgard left to pick up more cleaning products and Dimitri found his mind wandering, wondering what he could do to make use of this alone time. All he could think about was the year before. 

“I wanted to thank you,” Dimitri said. Dedue turned toward him, his brows furrowed. Dimitri realized he wasn’t aware of what he was referring to. “Oh, uh. For the time at the boat house last year.” 

Dedue nodded. “I'm just glad I was able to help,” he said. He grabbed a wipe from the container between them and added, “I meant it when I said that if you go through something like that when you’re at camp to let me know. I have mental health training.”

Dimitri felt his face fall, but he forced himself to smile before it was entirely noticeable. “Oh,” he said, “Well, I was wondering… what did you speak to me about? I don’t… really remember much when I get like that.”

“Pasta,” Dedue replied, not even looking up from cleaning.

“P-pardon?” Dimitri stammered.

“Pasta,” Dedue repeated. He took his phone out of his pocket and snapped open the case the covered the screen. He went to his photo gallery and began to slowly scroll through to show off photo after photo of a pit bull mix with a red nose and fur broken up by patches of red and white. 

“Oh,” Dimitri said, “Pasta is a dog.”  
  
“To be fair, I did not pick the name. The shelter named her and my sister insisted we kept it.” He shut his case, putting his phone back in his pocket. 

“She seems lovely,” Dimitri said, “I’m sorry that I don’t remember.”

“It’s truly no problem. I’m just glad that it helped you get through it.”

Dimitri watched him for a long moment, waiting for some sort of pushback. An ounce of resentment that his mind was so tangled in its own ghosts that it couldn’t remember a time someone showed him an act of kindness of this nature. But it didn’t come and by the time Ashe and Edelgard returned to the cabin, he knew that the conversation had to end.

*

The rest of the day was devoted to welcoming staff members as they arrived, having a brief staff meeting led by Byleth, participating in swim tests, and completing necessary preparation for the campers to arrive early the next morning.

Claude was one of the last to arrive, citing the long distance he had to travel. He jumped into the fray with ease, working with Edelgard and Dimitri to make sure their programming cabin was decorated and the cabin their campers were going to be sleeping in was cleaned. They bickered lightly about how they should position a welcome banner, but were able to work together smoothly enough When it began to get dark they moved to their own cabin, drawing up charts and guides on larger pieces of paper for their introductory activities. 

Their cabin was relatively quiet, the three of them focused on writing things out in brightly colored markers. From what Dimitri could gleam from the room, they were going to be sharing it with Hilda, who was still setting up the Craft Shack and Dorothea, who had her things on Edelgard’s bunk. He also saw a duffle bag and bedding supplies that looked an awful lot like Marianne’s, but from what he understood, she was holed up in the Health Hut with Mercedes preparing all the medical supplies. 

“Dimirimi, go drop off your medication,” Claude said, not looking away from the chart he was carefully sketching out.

Dimitri sighed. “Mercedes said we can drop it off by ten o’clock,” he said weakly. 

“It’s nine-thirty and the Health Hut is across camp. You should get going,” Edelgard added. 

Dimitri put his marker down and pushed himself up off the floor dramatically. He was grateful neither of them had any further retort as he unzipped his bag. He pulled out a ziploc bag he was ashamed to admit his stepmother prepared, complete with his name being written in her clear penmanship. “I’ll be back,” he said, not even waiting for their response as he opened up the screen door and slammed it shut.

He walked outside, muttering to himself as he fished his cell phone from out of his pocket and set it to flashlight mode. He had to get back into the habit of having his camp supplies on him. He walked carefully, wincing when his medication jingled as he took careful steps down the dark path toward the Health Hut. Most of the cabins were out in the distance, the lights on as peals of laughter from staff members rang out in the night. He couldn’t resist slowing down in front of Ashe and Dedue’s cabin, listening in to the music, which had shifted to a girl singing over an acoustic guitar. He attempted to look into the closest window, catching himself and walking faster.

The Health Hut was perched on a slight incline. Luckily, it appeared that someone was able to push aside the dead leaves and readjust the small logs to make a clear path leading up to it. He spotted Mercedes and Marianne sitting on the porch, making first aid kits.

He knocked on the doorframe and Mercedes walked over. “Good evening, Dimitri!” she greeted, smiling. Marianne waved, still in her seat.

“I’m sorry for interrupting…” he started. He lifted his bag up and Mercedes took it from him. They reviewed his medication schedule and Mercedes put the bag in a locker, sticking some masking tape on it to write his name and punctuate it with a sticker of a puppy. He wasn’t sure if it was a comparison or not.

“Marianne, I thought I saw your things in my cabin. Will you be joining us?” Dimitri asked.

“I will be there every other night,” she said.

“That sounds wonderful,” he told her. This was only her second year working at the camp, but they became fast friends over the course of the week together. She looked much more confident than she did the year before, as if she knew she had a place there.

“Marianne, I think we can call it a night. We only need one or two kits and I can finish them up before I go to sleep,” Mercedes said.

Marianne nodded, grabbing her things. Both Marianne and Dimitri said goodnight to Mercedes before they went outside, walking toward their cabin.

“I missed you,” Dimitri said, trying to focus on the path he made with his cell phone flashlight.

“I missed you, as well,” Marianne replied. She calmly turned on her flashlight, the beam racing ahead. Dimitri silently put his phone back in his pocket. For someone who was prone to anxiety, she always appeared unbothered by his dramatics. It was what made him incredibly fond of her. “Is your team ready for tomorrow?”

“As ready as we can be without knowing how the group dynamic will play out,” he admitted. 

She nodded her head, continuing to walk with him. “Well, I hope we have a relatively calm week. For all our sakes.” 

They passed by Dedue and Ashe’s cabin and Dimitri craned his neck, surprised to see that the lights were out. It seemed admirable of them to be able to go to bed early. When they arrived at their own cabin, the noise was notably louder than when Dimitri left. Laughter rang out and Marianne said, “I guess HIlda is done setting up.”  
  
“That or Bernadetta is doing everything,” Dimitri said, sighing. Marianne shrugged. Dimitri swung the door and was surprised by the sight of Hilda perched on the floor, a painting station set up in the center of the room. Claude was braiding lanyard with Ashe as Edelgard and Dedue painted wooden name tags.

“Welcome back!” Claude greeted. His eyes lit up and he scrambled to his feet before he jumped into conversation with Marianne. 

“Grab a wood cookie, I got all the pretty ones,” Hilda said.

Edelgard turned to the space between herself and Dedue before she shifted over to make space. Dimitri hoped she saw him glare at her before he took a seat, saying hello to Dedue and glancing at the nametag he was working on. He had already written out his name in neat black print along with his pronouns.

“You’re using they/their pronouns now?” Dimitri asked.

“Yes! Well, both he and they,” Dedue said. There was an excitement in his voice that Dimitri rarely heard. 

“You’re trans,” Dimitri said, though it was mostly to himself.

“They’re one of us!” Claude said, turning away from Marianne to shoot a grin.

Dimitri grinned, even though his mind was racing trying to wrap itself around this new information. He wasn’t someone who frequently had crushes on people, let alone longstanding ones like Dedue. In truth, he assumed that after last year, his feelings toward Dedue had reached an overwhelming, but notable threshold. Even then, the fact that he was trans made his feelings overflow. There was a comfortable connection between the two of them that he didn’t even know was possible.

“Welcome, I suppose,” Dimitri said. Dedue snerked, smiling gently. He finally broke eye contact to go through the supplies in front of him. He grabbed a name tag and blue paint before he took a thin paint brush and tried to slowly write out his name. He finished painting it out and frowned. He had started with his name too large, leaving the last three letters to be too close together to be readable.

“I would recommend painting over it and trying again,” Dedue suggested. “It’ll also stand out with a unique background color.”

Dimitri glanced at Dedue’s nametag again. He had began detailing delicate flowers along the edge. He wished he could have such an ease with a paintbrush. He nodded his head, following Dedue’s advice by painting a lighter blue over the entirety of the tag and blowing on it as he waited to dry.

He was getting in his own head and he knew it. He could watch conversations fly past him, people laughing and flashing smiles at each other, and he just couldn’t figure the rhythm out well enough to join them. He just didn’t know what to do, especially with Dedue being so kind to him.

He knew that Dedue was acting this way, because he was crazy. It was a logical explanation. Dedue was someone who researched mental illness, figured out approximately what was wrong with Dimitri, and knew to be kind to him or face his potential wrath. 

It wouldn’t be the first time the assumptions made about his mental illness would thrwart a relationship, nor would it be the last. He had spent years trying to hide his issues from people, but it felt like they always spilled out, no matter how much treatment he seeked. It was all the more reason for his crush to stay just that. Dimitri was nothing but a dead end if anyone was to pursue him.

He shook his head, trying to yank himself from this train of thought by focusing on his nametag. He penciled out the letters, able to fit his name and pronouns a bit easier. He painted over the lines and even sprung for some blue gems in the shape of stars to put over the Is in his name. At least he was ending up with one of the best nametags he ever made since he started attending this camp.

“Can I take a look?” Dedue asked.

Dimitri swallowed a forlorn sigh before he tilted it toward him. “Thank you again,” he said.

“It’s no problem,” Dedue replied. “I like the gems a lot. It makes it more eye catching.” He flashed a tiny smile and Dimitri cursed himself for having his stomach flip as a response.

*

Arrival was utter chaos, because it always was. Buses full of kids rolled in, inevitably getting stuck in mud as the campers rolled down the windows and screamed excitedly. Eventually, they were released, their attempts at charging toward their counselors and friends only thwarted by their heavy backpacks and duffle bags. After two buses, Dimitri have to pinch the bridge of his nose and hope no one saw his eye was tearing up. His memory wasn’t great, but it was easy to remember when Edelgard and he attended the camp as children, the two of them rushing out of the bus in desperate search of their counselors. He felt nostalgic whenever a pair of sisters close in age arrived, though he kept the observation to himself in case someone would misunderstand his sentimentality.

It made him realize how long he and Edelgard had been going to this camp. This was their tenth year at the camp, five years as campers and five years as staff members. They would probably be acknowledged toward the end of camp, complete with Byleth gifting them mugs with the camp logo and ten years printed on it. He was anticipating that he would be embarrassed, but proud.

He had been at the camp long enough to have some campers he kept tabs on. Many of them stopped by on their way to check in to tell him how they were doing. There was always one or two younger campers who were bold enough to ask him why he wore an eye patch and he would stammer, eventually mumbling that it was a hockey accident. Sylvain suggested that he told them ridiculous fabrications about his injury, but it never quite felt right. 

Each counselor had their own crew of campers that orbited around them, waiting until further instructions would make them have to move elsewhere. For him, he had some campers who liked sports that he was able to connect to well enough with, but he also had some children who looked at him and just knew they were going to need him to listen to them talk about the pain they had to carry that year.

Some of them were worse for wear, but from what he could tell, they were all alive. By the end of the week he was probably going to spend an evening after programming laid out on a bench in the dining hall, overwhelmed with all the new information he would have to carry. He could already hear someone lecturing him on the importance of self care to prevent burn out. 

Until then, there were campers to catch up with, hames he had to learn, pronoun combinations he had to memorize, and icebreakers to run. Claude was right about the tree one. It took everything inside Dimitri to resist laughing as one of his campers walked into two different trees while trying to find the one their partner picked out. Hours dissipate quickly until it’s time to get the campers ready for the communal swim test.

“Come on, let’s see it!” Claude exclaimed as he removed his shirt and binder. He had personally pushed for topless bathing two summers ago. It took Dimitri a long time to get used to and only participated in it once or twice, but he could see how it helped other people, including Claude himself. 

“Oh… uh… you were _there_ , Claude,” Dimitri pulled his shirt over his head and exposing his flat chest. It was nearly a year since he had gotten top surgery, Claude visiting for the week and providing company while he recovered.

“Yeah and all I saw was the gross stuff… _oh_ , it healed well,” Claude noted, “That surgeon did nice work.” 

“Yeah, I’m really happy about it,” Dimitri said. He still struggled getting used to being exposed in this way, but he was getting better at it.

“You gotta show it off all camp,” Claude added.

“I mean, I brought tank tops…” Dimitri replied, shrugging.

“Yeah, but you have to, like… have the sides all open and shit...” Claude started. 

Edelgard cleared her throat as she walked toward the door. She wore a simple, but vibrant red bathing suit top with a pair of shorts.

“You going in, princess?” Claude asked.

Edelgard raised her arm, showing off the red wristband. “We’ve been over this, Claude.”

“I’m just saying, as someone with waterfront certification I can teach you.” He glanced down at Dimitri’s wrist and noticed the red band on his wrist and he sighed. “Teach _both of you_ , because apparently neither of you know how to swim.”

“I can tread water, I just can’t… swim-swim,” Dimitri explained.

“You’re both lucky you’re cute,” Claude groused, grabbing his towel and following Edelgard out of the cabin, Dimitri trailing behind him. They collected their campers from their residential cabin and led them to the lake, where they waited on the riverbank until the younger campers finally dawdled over. Dimitri tried to ignore how his throat caught when he saw Dedue walking down the path, a child determined to reach up and hold his hand as they took careful, uncoordinated steps down the incline. He waved before he even realized he was doing it, shocked when Dedue waved back with his free hand. Dimitri quickly turned toward his own campers, jumping into idle conversation until the groups were called to start taking swim tests. 

Dimitri walked toward the dock, crossing his arms while watching his campers get into the water. Claude swooped in next to him, craning his neck. 

“You should show off your surgery results to Dedue. I’m sure they would be _very interested_ ,” Claude suggested. He smirked, crossing his arms.

“Give it up, Claude. It’s nothing more than a camp crush,” Dimitri said, trying to keep his tone relatively light. 

Claude tilted his head. Dimitri shook his head. He wished he could just explain why, but his throat seemed to catch whenever he tried to form words related to it. “Just…” he started. He sighed and said, “It’s okay. It’s okay.”

Claude gave him a concerned look, but didn’t say anything. He murmured about having to see if anybody was drowning and walked away, leaving Dimitri standing alone. 

He had to let this go. There was no point in wasting his week over a hopeless instance of attraction. 

*

Claude, Edelgard, and Dimitri checked in on their campers before they left them in their cabin for the night. The advantage of having the oldest children at camp was that they didn’t have to bother with curfews or sleeping in their cabin to monitor them. When they returned to their cabin, Dorothea was there, Edelgard and her greeting each other with a kiss and a hug before they fit in a bunk together. Dorothea rested her chin on Edelgard’s shoulder and wrapped her arms around her, Edelgard leaning into her touch. Dimitri tried his best to deny the feeling of jealousy that seemed to blossom from his mind.

“Your programming is done for the night?” Claude asked.

“Yeah,” Dorothea said, “I just needed a minute before Petra and I work on camper dailies.”

Everybody groaned at the reminder. A requirement of the counselors were to write daily reports about the campers. They were to be sent out to the families in the morning. It made sense, but to toss paperwork on the staff after running programming until nine or ten o’clock at night was torture, usually resulting in every counselor group gathered in the dining hall with a laptop, hoping they could finish up as quickly as possible.

They were all quiet for a moment, Edelgard and Dorothea occasionally whispering something to each other that was just a little too soft for Dimitri to hear. He was feeling his skin go tight around himself, unable to even look at them when he said, “I can get a start on the dailies,” before he grabbed his flashlight and laptop band made his way toward the dining hall.

He was glad that nobody followed him. He focused on the sounds he heard, many of which similar to the first night with pops children chatting and adults telling them to go to sleep. He arrived at the dining hall and made himself a cup of tea before he sat at a bench toward the back, opening up his laptop and getting to work. He locked eyes with some of his own campers who were contemplating grabbing some coffee and he was able to successfully scare them off, making them return toward the direction of their cabin. He shook his head, continuing to type as he reflected on the initial impressions he had about his campers.

“How was your first day?” 

Dimitri looked up and found himself looking up at Dedue. He had his own laptop tucked under his arm, hair falling in his face from his ponytail.

“Uh, so far so good,” Dimitri said. He laughed nervously. “How are the little ones?”

“Good,” Dedue replied. He paused for a second and added, “A lot. Though I think Ashe and I came up with enough program to tire them out pretty efficiently tonight. We’ll see how tomorrow goes.” He jutted his laptop out from his side and asked, “May I sit with you?”

“Oh,” Dimitri said. He scanned the dining hall. There were plenty of places Dedue could sit. He just couldn’t figure out why he would want to sit with Dimitri. “I mean, sure. Claude and El should be joining us soon. If that’s all right with you.”

“I like them. I would like to get to know them better.” Dedue pulled his hair tie out from his hair and began to redo his ponytail. When he was done, he opened up his laptop and the two of them worked in silence.

It took everything inside of Dimitri to resist asking Dedue why he was sitting down near him. Instead, he tried to remind himself that he couldn’t do things like that. He was not manipulating Dedue to sit next to him and even if he knew his feelings couldn’t be known, he did like him. He liked watching Dedue contemplate his next sentence and write in short bursts. Dimitri took a sip of tea and resumed typing his own reports, Claude and Edelgard arriving in the middle of his second report. The two of them crammed on the bench next to him, saying hello to Dedue. Dimitri wished that one of them would ask why Dedue was there, but no one thought to ask.

*

The next day was equally busy. The bulk of their leadership programming was that day, resulting in Dimitri having to talk to the campers extensively. When it was time for his break, he took it willingly. He curled up on the couch in the break room, using the wifi to be able to check his social media. 

The door slid open and he looked up, watching Sylvain walk in. He smiled, sitting in a chair adjacent from Dimitri. “You on break, too?” he asked. Dimitri nodded. Sylvain smiled and said, “Oh, nice,” before he turned to the piñata in the shape of a pegasus that was dangling near him.

It was a camp tradition for Byleth to display a piñata in the break room for staff members to leave notes on it for each other. The notes were usually about the positive contributions people made to the camp, some signed, others not. Dimitri hadn’t even thought to check it, as it was way too early for him to think that he did anything of note.

“Huh, looks like you got something,” Sylvain said, unpinning a note. He passed the piece of orange construction paper his way, grinning.

Dimitri took it from him, reading his name to confirm. He opened up the piece of paper and read the message, which said:

_Dimitri,_

_It’s great seeing you walk around camp with more confidence this year. You’re a bigger inspiration for staff and campers than you realize. I hope you this week brings you everything you could hope for._

Dimitri flipped it around, searching for any sort of hint as to who it was from.

“No name?” Sylvain asked. Dimitri shook his head. “Well, the person used your full name. So it’s probably not anyone you’re super close to.”

Dimitri reread the message again. The handwriting was neat. He thought about how Dedue wrote his name on his name tag. It could have been his handwriting, but he hadn’t seen enough of Dedue’s handwriting to make a judgment call on that. He sat up a little straighter, trying to make sense of the confidence the message was possibly speaking to. He flipped the message open and closed before he reached over and grabbed a blank piece of paper from behind the pinata. He waved it in his hands for a long moment, taking a deep breath.

“Thinking about paying it forward?” Sylvain asked.

“Something like that,” Dimitri said. He grabbed a marker near the piñata and tapped his chin several times with it. He took his clipboard that was next to him and leaned against it, trying to write out a message. It was presumptuous to even think that it could possibly be Dedue who wrote that message. At the same time, it didn’t hurt to let Dedue know that he was doing good things at camp. There was nothing wrong with wanting to make someone happy. 

He carefully wrote out his message, grateful that Sylvain didn’t seem to have any snide remarks about it. He was able to write out:  
  
_Dear Dedue,_

_I absolutely adore watching you work with your campers. You have an abundance of patience that ensures that you are providing the best care for them. I know that they’re not always easy, but please know you are always appreciated._

He looked down at the space under the message, wondering if he wanted to sign his name. He shook his head, folding the paper and writing out Dedue’s name before he pinned it near the base of one of the pegasus’s wings. Sylvain tilted the piñata toward him to notice the new message and smirked, but didn’t say anything. 

*

It took until the third day for Dimitri to begin to feel exhausted. His campers were working on self care boxes at the boat house, which was thankfully not triggering anything notable for him. He thought he might be hearing things, but Claude and Edelgard were usually able to confirm that whatever he was hearing was certainly real, though he might have been overreacting. He tried to stay occupied by making his own box of supplies, wrapping up the cap of a water bottle he filled with glitter and colored water. He shook it when he was done, watching the gold glitter wrap around the blue water. He shook it again, his motion much more violent as the plastic crackled against his fingers. 

The noise was enough to snap him out of it, looking around frantically. He took a deep breath, grateful that nobody saying anything about it. 

A child asked him how to spell reconcile and he glanced out the screen window as he spelled it out, watching the scene in front of him. Dorothea and Petra were watching their campers swim in the water while Ingrid led Felix and Sylvain’s campers out toward the docks. They were getting ready to head out to their overnight trip Ingrid coordinated, which would result in them having to canoe out to an island and stay the night.

“Our overnight’s the second to last night, right?” one of Dimitri’s campers asked.

Dimitri nodded his head as he waved, Ingrid catching him. She smiled and waved back. “Yeah, it is,” he told them.

There was something exciting about the overnight trip, even as a staff member. He liked the outdoors and wished he did more camping. He used to do it all the time when he was in Girl Scouts with Ingrid, Felix, and Edelgard, but that was years ago. There was something comforting about being surrounded by nature and hiding away from the stresses of society for a little bit. He sighed, continuing to stare out the window. 

His view was eclipsed by Ashe, who was walking past the screen. He nearly jumped back as Ashe made his way toward the door, swinging it open. He walked toward Dimitri, smiling at him. “Hi! Can I talk to you, Claude, and Edelgard about something?” he asked.

Dimitri turned around and saw that Edelgard and Claude were already approaching. Dimitri got up to join the circle that was beginning to form between all of them.

“I have a program proposal,” Ashe said. He pushed a piece of his hair behind his ear. “So I was talking with Dedue about ways we could have our campers be able to interact with some of the older campers. We were thinking about maybe having your group do an arts and crafts project with our kids. What do you think?”

“It would compliment our leadership angle pretty well,” Claude noted.

“I think we can do something like that,” Edelgard agreed. 

Dimitri just smiled, unsure how he was supposed to handle having to work with Dedue in front of all of their campers.

*

By the evening, Dimitri felt like his brain was slamming into a wall, unable to form many clear thoughts, let alone the ability to handle certain tasks. Edelgard and Claude took on the typing for the camper dailies. He tried his best to give feedback, the two of them carefully rewording it onto the document. Dedue eventually joined them, sitting down next to Dimitri and opening up his own laptop.

“Ashe told me you agreed to doing program with us,” Dedue said.

“Y-yeah,” Dimitri replied. He cleared his throat, worried that someone would pick up on the hitch in his voice.

“I’m excited to be working with all of you,” Dedue said. He continued to look at Dimitri, pressing his lips together. “Dimitri, do you need to lie down?”

Dimitri turned toward him, his eyes wide. “Oh…” he started, “I mean…”

“We can hear you if you need to lie down. Don’t worry about it,” Claude added. Edelgard nodded calmly. 

Dimitri took a deep bbreath, lying across the bench as comfortably as possible. He didn’t want to invade Dedue’s personal space, meaning his legs would have to hang off the bench no matter what he did.

Eventually Dedue glanced down from his laptop. “You can rest your head in my lap, if you need somewhere to prop your head,” Dedue suggested before he resumed typing.

Dimitri lifted his head, squinting at him. This was the tipping point for camp crushes to go from fleeting to complicated. He never experienced it himself, but he witnessed it before. He couldn’t help but stare at Dedue’s thighs, deciding that they would be such a plush pillow to rest on. He took a deep breath, asking, “Are you sure?”

Dedue nodded. “I don’t mind,” he confirmed.

Dimitri made sure to make no effort to look at Edelgard or Claude as he said, “Then I will.” He pushed himself toward Dedue’s lap, resting his head against it. Dimitri sighed out of relief as Dedue continued to type over him. He eventually faded to sleep, no one making any effort to wake him up until they were done with their dailies.

*

Dimitri wasn’t sure when someone being good with kids became so appealing to him, but he couldn’t help but feel even more attracted toward Dedue as he worked with both his own campers and Dimitri’s during the project.

The assignment was simple enough. The younger campers had to illustrate a story then carefully dictate the story surrounding it to the older campers. It was legitimately hysterical watching the teenagers attempt to parse together the stories that the kids were trying to tell, Dimitri opting to be an observer and only intervening when absolutely necessary. Dedue was far more hands on, walking up to each group and asking them questions about how their collaboration was going. 

Dedue’s children absolutely adored his attention, nearly throwing their art in his face as they explained to him the reasoning behind every blue cat and purple unicorn. Even Dimitri’s own campers appeared to respond positively to him, answering questions as well as asking their own to Dedue about how his week was going. 

It made Dimitri’s heart ache. It was bad enough that he was trying to not devote hours of the day in an attempt to unpack how he felt comfortable enough to fall asleep in Dedue’s lap the night before. He had always been a horrible sleeper and while he knew physical affection had helped him in the past, he never thought Dedue was open enough to offer it. NOw he had to watch Dedue continue to display that he was quite possibly the most perfect human being to ever work for Sothis Rainbow Camp.

Dimitri’s mind began to wander, considering the future. It was a strange thought exercise for him, as there were times in his life where he actively attempted to thrwart such a thing. He imagined a future where he told Dedue how he felt and how there would be visits planned, move in dates, a joyful wedding, and children. It was a foolish desire to remotely consider when he wasn’t even planning on telling Dedue how he felt, but the thought was on his mind, vibrating just under the surface of anxieties and resignation that usually clouded his judgement.

He gripped at the bench he was sitting on. This was becoming deeper than the typical infatuation that came with camp crushes. And there was only so many days of camp left for him to make sense of it.

Dedue approached him and he nearly jumped. Dedue apologized for his reach before he grabbed his water bottle, which was perched right next to Dimitri. It was a habit that Dimitri was beginning to notice Dedue fall into. If Dimitri was in a space, Dedue would join, even if there were better, more isolated locations. Dimitri was afraid to ask, choosing to focus on Dedue uncapping his bottle, a metal one with cute bear faces printed across it.

Dedue took a sip and Dimitri said, “You’re such a natural with my kids.”

Dedue’s eyes widened, swallowing hard enough that Dimitri was certain he could hear it. He brought the bottle away from his lips and said, “Thank you. My little sister is about their age, so I think I have a bit of an advantage.”

Dimitri shrugged. “That would certainly help,” he said. He hummed for a moment before he asked, “Does your sister not want to be a camper here?”

“No. Though I can’t say I blame her. I wouldn’t want my sibling to have that much power over me, either.”

Dimitri considered going to camp if Edelgard got to be a staff member before him. He briefly scrunched up his face. 

“She did say that she would like to work here someday,” Dedue added, “Some pact she’s made with Ashe’s little sister. Admittedly, I’m not sure if I would want to work with her.”

“Well, she would have big shoes to fell,” Dimitri noted, “Same with Ashe’s little sister. You and Ashe make an excellent team.”

“Thank you. I appreciate hearing that.” Dedue smiled gently before he screwed the cap back onto his water bottle and placed it next to Dimitri. 

Dimitri watched Dedue continue to circulate the room, sighing softly. There would be an end to all of this. It was something Dimitri forgot about, especially when he was at camp. Not only would the week end, but the staff would move on. They would relocate, be too caught up in work, or other major developments that would lead to them being unable to come back one summer.

Dimitri thought about how this was his tenth year. He couldn’t imagine a summer without this camp. How could he? He grew up here, every summer allowing him to become a more authentic version of himself. Even then, he spent each year having to relinquish campers and staff members to his vague recollections of his time in these woods. 

He didn’t want Dedue to end up there.

He had to do something.

*

Dimitri raised his hand, surprised that Claude and Edelgard stopped walking. Their campers continued moving toward their programming cabin, laughing and singing as they moved.

“What’s up?” Claude asked.

“Can we all meet somewhere tonight?” Dimitri asked, “Private. I wanted to talk to you two about something.”

“Are you okay?” Edelgard asked. Claude leaned closer to Dimitri, placing his hand on the back of his arm. 

“Yeah?” Dimitri replied. He saw worry flash in their eyes and he gritted his teeth. “Yeah. I’m not… I’m not sick I just want your advice. Do either of you know where we could be able to speak with no one walking in on us?”

They all shifted from side to side, trying to come up with potential ideas. Each cabin was occupied and their campers tended to use the programming cabin until late at night. Even if Hilda was willing to spare the Craft Shack, it tended to be used for programming until relatively late, as well. The Health Hut was mostly screened areas, so no chance for privacy. The dining hall would be used all night as the staff worked on dailies. 

“We could go to the lake,” Edelgard suggested, “We would have use the dock that’s not technically on the camp grounds, but as long as we keep our voices down, we should be able to be left alone.” She smirked and added, “Also, I’m doubtful that even Dorothea would think to find me there.”

“Then let’s go to the lake after we finish up our dailies,” Claude said, “I’ll swipe some life jackets for you two from the supply closet.”

“Wait, we’re going into the water?” Dimitri asked.

Claude rolled his eyes. “Dima, Dima, Dima,” he said, bonking his head on Dimitri’s shoulder. “Everybody knows the best camp cliche is a good night swim.”

*

Dimitri bobbed in the water, watching Edelgard slowly walk down the ladder and plop into the water. She floated quietly for a long moment, her hair tied on top of her head and making herself look like some sort of strange sprout. The moon was out, everything bathed in silver light, thankfully washing out the obnoxious color of the life jackets Claude grabbed for Edelgard and him.

“We better hope that Byleth doesn’t find out about this,” Dimitri murmured.

“What are they going to do to us?” Claude asked, content treading water while gripping a small raft in front of him, “They aren’t going to fire us. You two are lifers and I’m too good at my job.”

“He’s right,” Edelgard said. Claude did a doubletake and she grinned before she focused on Dimitri again. “So what’s going on, Dimitri?”

“I think I need to tell Dedue how I feel,” Dimitri announced.

Edelgard and Claude turned toward each other, their eyes wide. Claude faced Dimitri again, Edelgard trying to slowly float back to her original position. 

Dimitri waited for one of them to tease him, but it didn’t happen. He took a deep breath and said, “Uh.” He cleared his throat and tried to continue. “I, uh. I don’t think this is just a camp crush. I think this is… something I would want to pursue outside of camp.” He tried to bounce in the water several times. “The problem is that we have so little time left. Our overnight trip is tomorrow night. Then it’s the last full day. There just isn’t enough time.”

The three of them floated in the water, the only noise being the sound of the dock rocking. 

“We can bring him on the camp out,” Edelgard suggested.

Claude turned toward her again, grinning. “Oh, _do_ go on, princess.”

“You know how there’s an open invitation to the overnights, right?” Edelgard asked. She waited for Claude and Dimitri to nod before she said, “From my understanding, Dedue has never been on one. He’s always worked with the younger campers and I don’t think he’s ever been invited. Even Ashe has been able to go on an overnight, because of the year he was working with twelve and thirteen year olds with Felix. We can invite Dedue to it on the premise that it’s an important part of the camp experience he is missing out on.”

Dimitri nodded his head as he slowly processed the plan. “This is perfect,” he said, “El, you’re a genius!”

“Let’s ask that floater Annette if she is willing to jump in to help Ashe for the night,” Claude added, “I know she’s close with the two of them.”

Dimitri smiled, feeling his eyes siting. “You two are so willing to help me…” Dimitri started. It wasn’t that either of them were cruel to him, but it still felt like such an undertaking. It wasn’t like they were going to directly benefit from him getting into a relationship.

“Eh, it’s kind of fun,” Claude admitted, “I like coordinating shit like this.”

Edelgard sighed. “We’re also a team,” she said. She bit the inside of her lip before she added, “Okay, can I say something and have you two be serious?” She waited until they both verbally said yes. “You two are the people I’m closest to at camp. Especially since… since Hubert stopped working here.”

Dimitri nodded. Hubert was Edelgard’s best friend from home that worked at camp for a summer. It just wasn’t a good fit for him and he decided that after one week he didn’t have any interest in coming back. Edelgard was more upset than she would ever admit. Claude stayed quiet, waiting patiently for her to continue.

“I just want you two to be happy,” she said, “ _Yes_ , Dimitri, even you. I mean it when I say that I wish for your happiness whenever I can. You two do good things at camp and outside of it. And, Dimitri, if Dedue can be someone who keeps giving you happiness, then I want to help you as best as I can.”

“Oh… El…” Dimitri started. He wasn’t sure what else to do, so he swam toward her, throwing his arms around her. She chided him, yelling, “Knock it off! Are you trying to drown me?!” before he finally loosened his grip. Claude joined in the embrace, trying his best to be mindful of his grip. 

“Let’s get out of here before we get found out,” Claude eventually suggested, none of them making an effort to let go. They all laughed, Dimitri being the one to loosen his grip before leading the other two toward the ladder to get out.

*

The three of them got dressed and walked to the dining hall. Dimitri fretted that they all clearly looked like they had snuck into the lake as Claude pointed out that showers were a concept. They spotted Dedue sitting at the usual area Dimitri sat at, all three sitting at a bench across from him. 

“I’m beginning to think you _like_ doing camper dailies,” Claude teased. 

Dedue closed his laptop and shook his head, even though he was smiling the slightest bit. “I might have negotiated with Ashe that I would write the reports if he stayed in the cabin and made sure they were all quiet.”

“Quite the negotiation you pulled off,” Claude noted. 

“Perhaps.” Dedue tilted his head. “Is everything all right?” he asked.

“We wanted to invite you to our overnight trip tomorrow night,” Dimitri said, trying his best to not sound desperate. “You wouldn’t have to do any supervision. You would just have to be willing to hang out with a bunch of sixteen and seventeen year olds.”

“We would make sure a staff member of your choosing would cover you for the night,” Edelgard added, “We were considering Annette. But let us know if you have other suggestions.”

Dedue pressed his lips together. “I would have to speak to Ashe. I hope that’s understandable,” he said. 

“Absolutely,” Dimitri said, “But… we would love to have you.”

Dedue locked eyes with him for a long moment. Dimitri was grateful that Edelgard and Claude made no effort to pull them away from each other, though he was convinced that the tension was palpable. “I will do my best to be there,” Dedue said, not breaking eye contact with Dimitri.

*

Dimitri carefully walked down toward the lake, carrying as many of the tent kits as he could. Ingrid was ahead of him, carrying a cooler. 

“Thanks for helping me!” she chirped as she placed the cooler in one of the canoes that was resting on the dock. 

“You didn’t give me a choice,” he pointed out. She grabbed him off the log he was sitting on and nearly threw him into a pile of supplies.

Ingrid stood up, putting her hands on her hips. “Hm, you’re right. I didn’t.” She grinned. She pointed at another canoe and he laid them inside. “Claude said something about Dedue joining us?”

“Yes. We invited him. Is that a problem?” Dimitri asked. They rushed back toward the dining hall, where Ingrid had most of her supplies piled up. 

“Not at all. Though we should try to find him to help us run these supplies dockside.” She spotted Felix and called him over. He glowered, but still made his way over and offered his arms as she put a container of dry supplies in his arms. She passed another container to Dimitri before she grabbed a tool box and a first aid kit before leading them toward the lake again.

“You and Dedue have been spending a lot of time together this week. Anything we should know about?”

“Wait, so Ashe was serious when he said Dedue was going with you to the overnight?” Felix asked.

Dimitri felt his cheeks warm up. “No! No…” Ingrid turned around to raise her eyebrows. “I mean… he’s very…” Dimitri laughed nervously. “I like him. I don’t know!”

“Dimitri having a normal human response,” Felix noted, “This is more serious than any of us thought.”

Dimitri screwed up his face. After years of being told that he seemed to be mentally incapable of doing something like that, it felt strange hearing Felix of all people suggest it. If anything was going to remind Dimitri that he was mentally ill, it was going to be through Felix’s cruel truths.

“It’s nice to see,” Ingrid said, trying to talk over Felix. She stopped at the dock, but made no effort to put her things down. “I mean, I don’t think we’ve ever heard you say you were into anybody. It’s… it’s so nice. You just look so excited.”

Dimitri stared out toward the lake. He watched a bird skim the water before he suggested, “Hopeful? Maybe?”

“Yeah!” Ingrid exclaimed, “That’s exactly it! It’s good to see.

Felix’s frown faltered for the slightest bit, though he said nothing. It was more than enough confirmation for Dimitri to know what he had to do.

*

The canoe trip to the island was pleasant, even if Dimitri spent too much of the trip scolding his campers for trying to play music on the water. The last thing he wanted to do was try to reason with people who had homes along one side of the lake to get out of a noise violation. Once they were at the island, everybody was put to work, the campers setting up the tents as Ingrid watched them struggle. Dimitri and Dedue were tasked with collecting firewood as Edelgard and Claude set up the tents the adults would use.

Dimitri was pleased with the assignment. It gave him time to show Dedue around the island, even if it was relatively simple to figure out. Dedue listened patiently, asking clarifying questions while they carefully measured up sticks along their forearms to make sure everything was within the right side measurements for an effective fire.

“Thank you so much for inviting me,” Dedue said. He was wearing another cropped shirt, the small of his back flashing every time he bent down to grab a stick. Dimitri had the forethought to wear a tank top to expose his toned arms, but he was beginning to understand what Claude meant by wearing something that showed a little more skin. 

“It’s no problem,” Dimitri said, “Everybody deserves to experience this at least once.”

“Did you go out to this island when you were a camper?” Dedue asked.

Dimitri nodded. “We had to figure out how to put a tent together, just like they are,” he revealed, “You know, I don’t think I’ve ever gotten more than an hour of sleep on this island. The campers get pretty riled up being outdoors all night.”

Dedue shook his head before he bent down to grab another stick. “Well, let’s hope you get some more sleep this year.”

Dimitri smiled. He wished he had the confidence to say something flirty, but he couldn’t bring himself to do so. “Yeah,” he said, “I hope so.” 

They finished up collecting sticks and returned to the fire pit that Ingrid was setting up. The campers jumped into meal prep, Ingrid making sure that everyone knew their role. Dimitri was designated to any task that did not require him to handle food, but he didn’t see the point in being offended over it. His inability to taste was a major hindrance in many ways, including him having any motivation to figure out how to cook. He was content making sure plates and utensils were distributed as everybody else made quesadillas and wrapped them up in tin foil before they tossed them into the fire to cook. It took a few shifts of exchanging tinfoil packet after tinfoil packet into the fire, out of the fire, and to the person it belonged to, but eventually everyone was sitting with food in their hands. It wasn’t anything that Dimitri could taste, but the atmosphere was pleasant, the day beginning to cool down as everybody chatted excitedly with.

Dedue got up to help Ingrid with prepping for s’mores and Claude and Edelgard nearly toppled over each other to sit next to Dimitri.

“So do you have a plan?” Claude asked.

“Yeah,” Dimitri said. He smiled nervously. He wasn’t sure if his plan was going to work, but he certainly had a plan. 

“Which is?” Edelgard asked.

“I was going to take him to the cliff,” Dimitri said, “I figured we can sit on the edge, listen to the loons if they come out. And then I’ll tell him how I feel.”

Edelgard and Claude turned toward each other. They both nodded their heads and turned toward Dimitri again. 

“Okay,” Edelgard said.

“Okay?” Dimitri asked.

“It’s a bit simple for my taste, but I think Dedue will like it,” Claude added.

“We’ll keep the campers away from the area,” Edelgard added.

Dimitri smiled, about to thank them until he saw Dedue begin to distribute sticks to the campers as Ingrid checked on the fire. Several campers roped Dimitri into helping them toast marshmallows and tried to resist rolling his eyes. It was a skill that was a vestige from when he could still taste things. Even so, couldn’t help but feel accomplished when he saw someone excitedly yanked the marshmallow off the stick and it was able to melt the chocolate.

Once everyone had s’mores and the supplies were cleaned, Edelgard and Claude proposed campfire songs. The campers were enthusiastic, even if they rarely showed such enthusiasm during their time at the main camp site. Dedue looked ready to join in, but Dimitri reached out. He didn’t touch Dedue, but it was enough to have Dedue stop short. 

Dimitri opened his mouth several times before he could get the words out. “Uh… can I show you something?” he asked.

Dedue nodded his head. “Of course,” he said.

Dimitri gave him a tight smile before he began to walk toward the edge of the island. They couldn’t quite escape the noise of all Dimitri’s campers screaming out “Baby Shark,” but he didn’t mind. Edelgard and Claude were setting up a perfect distrction.

They walked toward some bushes and Dimitri pointed toward the small gap between two of them. “This is my favorite part of the island,” Dimitri explained. He pushed the branches aside and ushered Dedue through them, the two of them a bit too large to avoid getting snagged. Dimitri tried to ignore the twinge of nostalgia he felt when he was in middle school and able to zip through without any problem. Once they got through, Dimitri gestured toward the view. 

The rockface wasn’t large, but it was enough to get a great view of the forest that hugged the mainland. With the moon bright and nearly full, everything appeared covered in an ethereal shroud, the only distractions being the lights from a cabin out in the distance. 

For a moment, he was terrified. He wondered if after a decade of hazy recollections of this spot, he was unable to understand that to some people it was just a plain remote island that was looking out toward a typical lakefront forest. This could just be a foolish distraction from where Dedue wanted to be, which was working with his younger campers.

But when Dimitri looks at Dedue’s face, all he saw was a sense of wonder on his face as he looked ahead. He slowly took a seat along the edge, Dimitri joining him.

“It’s beautiful,” Dedue said, “I take it you sat out here a lot?”

“Especially when it got too loud,” Dimitri replied. He didn’t want to mention that the noise sometimes came from his own head. He wished he felt comfortable enough to celebrate with anybody that this was one of his first weeks here that he hadn’t had a hallucination. He wondered if there would ever be a time that he could be so open about something like that. “Dedue, how did you find this camp?”

“Ashe and I are friends. He went one year, because Caspar recommended it. Then he suggested that I should go, so I applied,” Dedue said. His eyes were focused on the waterline as he tilted his body toward Dimitri. “How about you?”

“Oh, my dad found out about it somehow,” Dimitri said, “El and I both identified as lesbians at the time and I think he wanted to try to show that he supported us.” He brought his knee under his chin and rested his head on it. He thought about how they ended up at this point in their lives. Dedue was only here because Ashe was conveniently friends with the camp’s sports coordinator. Dimitri was here because his father probably clunkily searched something about gay camps on Google. “I… I love this camp,” Dimitri said, “It’s probably why I’m still alive.”

Dedue nodded, but didn’t pry. It made Dimitri’s heart swell. Dedue was not like some of the other mental health advocates Dimitri had the misfortune of speaking to. They tended to swear up and down that they cared about mentally ill people until they treated people like him like sorid tales they could gasp over.

“I’m glad you’re still here,” Dedue eventually said.

Something in Dimitri came undone. Tears he didn’t even know were waiting to fall began to rush down his cheeks and he frantically wiped at them. 

Dedue reached over, stopping short. “Is it all right if I touch you?” Dedue asked.

Dimitri nodded his head. “Yes, please,” he said. Dedue placed his hand on Dimitri’s shoulder and brought him closer. Dimitri continued to cry, unsure of what he was even crying over. The only thought that truly stuck was that no matter how hard this week was, it always left him feeling surrounded by careful, considerate love. It was the type of love that he knew Dedue could be capable of giving him. The type of love he would love to learn how to provide himself.

He pulled away, unable to resist a loud, wet sniff. He wiped his nose on the collar of his shirt, trying to take a deep breath. “I’m sorry,” he said.

Dedue moved his hand to Dimitri’s back. He rubbed careful circles against it, making no effort to push Dimitri away. “There’s no need to apologize,” Dedue said, “This place is overwhelming, even if it’s in a good way.”

Dimitri attempted several deep breaths. His campers were screaming the damn campfire song from Spongebob and Dedue’s hands were so warm through his thin tank top. It was overwhelming, but he couldn’t allow himself to lose sight of his goal. “Dedue,” he said, “I must be honest with you about something.”

Dedue didn’t pull away, his hand still carefully moving along his back.

“I’m afraid I must confess that I have feelings for you,” Dimitri whispered. He wished it was consumed in the noise on the other end of the island, but the way that Dedue flinched made him know that wasn’t the case. Dimitri slid away, adding, “It’s… it’s nothing I can’t manage. I know that the feeling may not be mutual. I understand that I’m not…”

Dedue brought his hand away from Dimitri’s back.

“...worth it,” Dimitri finished. He gritted his teeth, wondering if he should just push himself off the rockface and end it all then and there.

Dedue reached toward one of Dimitri’s hands and gripped it firmly. Dimitri tried to take a deep breath, but his breathing hitched and he felt tears begin to form in his eyes again. “Please don’t put yourself down like that, especially when you do not know how I feel,” Dedue said.

Dimitri felt his heart start pounding. He flexed his hand, unable to look Dedue in the eye.

“I understand that you see yourself a certain way for reasons that I am not entitled to knowing,” Dedue said, “But I swear to you that I would not have accepted your invitation to this trip if I did not think that you were someone I wanted to get closer to.” His grip tightened around Dimitri’s hand before he quietly added, “I think I feel the same way.”

Dimitri folded over himself, surprised that he didn’t feel the need to cry. He just felt one of the many knots in his stomach loosen. Dedue let go of his hand and he said, “I would like to kiss you. If you would be comfortable with that.”

Dimitri finally looked up, barking a laugh before he reached out and grabbed Dedue by the collar of his shirt and pulled him in for a sloppy kiss. Dedue paused the kiss to grin before he leaned in a second time, the kiss a little more coordinated. Dimitri wanted to kiss him again, but he found himself smiling too much, the two of them nearly shaking from joy. 

The singing stopped, breaking into loud conversation.

“We should probably head back before your kids start wandering around,” Dedue suggested.

Dimitri nodded. “Yeah… we probably should.” Dimitri gave him one more chaste kiss before he got up, helping Dedue to his feet. They kept their hands clasped together, refusing to let go until they were barely in the light of the camp fire. They sat down next to Claude and Edelgard and Dimitri could barely contain the grin on his face. 

“Well?” Edelgard asked.

“I showed Dedue the cliffside,” Dimitri said, tilting his head from side to side.

“Sure you saw quite the view,” Claude said sarcastically.

Dimitri laughed as Dedue nodded his head. “Yeah, something like that,” Dedue said.

“You’re getting your own tent. I’m not dealing with this all night,” Edelgard grumbled, even though there was the slightest smirk on her lips. 

“Interesting how you’re still smiling while you’re saying that,” Dimitri noted. He rubbed his chin for emphasis.

Edelgard launched across the bench, punching him in the shoulder. “ _Ow_!” Dimitri yelled as Claude started cackling and Dedue tried his best to resist joining in.

*

The rest of the evening was devoted to begging teenagers to get to sleep until the compromise was made that they could stay up on the condition that they whispered. Regardless of what decision the kids decided on, the adults were able to go toward the opposite end of the island where their tents were set up and get ready for bed.

They all said goodnight to each other, Dimitri grateful that Claude, Edelgard, and Ingrid didn’t make an effort to taunt him as he and Dedue made their way toward their own tent.

“So I take it you spoke to Claude and Edelgard about your feelings toward me,” Dedue noted as he slipped into his own sleeping bag. 

“I needed their help to finally confront you about it,” Dimitri confessed as he crawled into his own. He laid on his back, looking up at the ceiling of the tent. The temperature had cooled down significantly, but even with a bed roll he just couldn’t bring himself to get comfortable. He flopped around a bit, deciding to lay on his side as a compromise.

“How long have you felt this way, if I may ask?” Dedue asked. He turned to face Dimitri. Dimitri realized that he was too tall for his sleeping bag to reach his shoulders. 

“Oh, uh… three summers,” Dimitri confessed, “Pretty much as soon as I saw you at orientation your first year.”

Dedue was quiet for a long moment. He looked clearly shocked, but he turned off his flashlight before Dimitri could see more of his reaction. “And you didn’t say anything?”

Dimitri shook his head. “No,” he said, realizing that it was too dark to probably see. “I… I was still pretty. Messed up. I wouldn’t have been able to do anything about how I felt in good faith.” He took a deep, careful breath before he added, “I’m doing a lot better now. Getting the right treatments, right medication combinations. I’m taking forever with finishing up school, but I’m hoping I can be a full time student next semester.” He quickly slipped his hand in his pocket, making sure that he counted the right amount of pills in his pocket. Mercedes didn’t have a great system when it came to medications during overnights. Luckily, he had remembered to take them in the midst of all the excitement of the trip.

Dedue was quiet for awhile. He reached out and Dimitri grabbed his hand, bringing it close to his chest. “What do you want to do, if I may ask?” Dedue asked.

“I want to be like Byleth,” Dimitri said, “I want to be able to run a camp like this. But I want to be able to have it run all summer long. I just want kids to feel safe as long as they can. One week isn’t enough.”

“It isn’t,” Dedue agreed. 

Dimitri let them lay in silence for a long moment. He could feel Dedue’s grip loosen as sleep overtook him. “May I make a request?” Dimitri asked.

Dedue flinched. He yawned and said, “Of course. What do you need?”

“Can I sleep against you?” Dimitri asked, “I… I feel comfortable near you. It’s really nice....”

“Of course,” Dedue replied. He brought Dimitri close, allowing him to rest on his chest. Dimitri closed his eyes and allowed himself to be lulled to sleep by Dedue’s soft breathing.

*

There was a weight to the next day that Dimitri always hated when it came to the last full day of camp. Every interaction had such a sense of finality to it, even if it was with people he was going to see outside of camp. Edelgard and he were going to return to their family home and be at each other’s throats periodically until Edelgard moved to her new apartment for grad school. Claude was going to visit the week after, most likely ribbing Dimitri incessantly about Dedue the entire time. Ingrid, Felix, and Sylvain were going to exchange invitations to each other’s homes, though they were more than likely going to end up at Felix’s pool, enjoying the last month of summer together. 

But there were people that he couldn’t speak to with such certainty. There were staff members that may not come back and children that would either age out or not be able to come back due to financial strain. He couldn’t be sure who they would be at this time so he made sure to be kind and create a positive interaction that people would want to remember him by.

He wasn’t sure what category Dedue would fall under yet. It was one thing to establish what people’s feelings were toward each other, but it was another thing to actually attempt to have a relationship. It was a conversation that Dimitri wanted to have with Dedue, but he wasn’t sure if he was going to be able to have during the day. There was a talent show that night and the two of them were devoted to making sure that they campers were prepared for their performances.

So Dimitri focused on that. He listened to his campers’s during a dress rehearsal and gave feedback. He got roped into building props and he even said he would even yell something from the crowd for a skit. Claude and Edelgard had their own projects they got roped into and the three of them worked tirelessly to make sure that their campers were ready to perform when Byleth announced that it was time for the entirety of camp to come to the front of the dining hall, where the stage was set up.

Dimitri’s campers were attempting to talk to him, but he was too busy searching for Dedue in the crowd. Dimitri began to fret, unable to locate him anywhere. He felt someone tap on his shoulder and he turned around, unprepared to see Dedue standing in front of him. 

Dedue was wearing his typical camp attire of cut offs and a slightly cropped shirt, with the additions of his nails sloppily painted green and gold eyeliner flashed around his eyes. He pressed his lips together, which were painted a deep purple. He raised his hand and sighed. “Remind me to never let my campers paint my nails,” he said, “They just don’t have the motor skills.”

“I don’t know, they seem to be able to apply eyeliner pretty well,” Dimitri noted.

Dedue rolled his eyes and he said, “I let them pick the color and put it on myself.” He pressed his lips together and added, “Same with the lipstick.”

“You look beautiful,” Dimitri said, unable to resist blushing. 

“Thank you,” Dedue said, quickly looking away for a moment, “I figured this was the best place for me to try something different.”

Dimitri smiled. He wanted to say more, but the host of the show, Annette, was demanding that everybody took a seat. They sat down next to each other and Dimitri tried his best to focus on the show.

Dedue left his hand on his own thigh. Dimitri couldn’t help but study his hand, noting how green nail polish smudged along his cuticles. He reached over to place his hand over Dedue’s, surprised that Dedue accepted it. They sat like that for the entirety of the talent show, only only breaking the contact to applaud at the end of each performance.

After the last performance, which was several of Dimitri’s campers singing an ABBA song in ridiculous outfits, Byleth took the mic. They thanked the performers before they said, “As we close out the final night, it’s time to celebrate some of the campers and staff members who are completing a milestone week at Sothis Rainbow Camp.”

Byleth started with announcing the campers and staff who had been at the camp for five years. As they went down the alphabet, Dimitri realized that he was going to have to get up soon. He cringed, pushing his hair back and rubbing under his eyes.

“This year we have two staff members who are celebrating their tenth year at camp,” Byleth said. “I hope they don’t mind if I call them up together, as they have been a package deal since their first year here. Please give a round of applause for Dimitri Blaiddyd and Edelgard von Hresvelg.”

Edelgard nearly jumped up, walking toward Dimitri and hoisting him up before they walked toward the front. Several staff members and campers cheered as they walked past, the two of them trying to rush past to get through the high concentration of attention. Byleth passed the mugs to them and Dimitri pulled Byleth into a hug. They nearly fell into him due to the force, but hugged back. 

Edelgard and Dimitri looked at each other, the two of them holding their mugs carefully. Dimitri reached over to offer a hug. Edelgard snorting, pulling him close to hug back. Dimitri kept his arm over Edelgard’s shoulders as they returned to the back, Dedue whispering congratulations as Dimitri returned to his side.

The talent show crowd cleared out soon after that. Dimitri had end of the week festivities with his campers to focus on, but he couldn’t bring himself to separate from Dedue.

“Are you going to try to get your campers to go to bed now?” Dimitri asked. He got up and Dedue followed, but the two of them refused to give each other much space.

Dedue sighed. “We’ll probably do some storytime first. Ashe is refusing to let me wiggle out of this one. They are notoriously impossible on the last night.” He was smiling regardless, his teeth bright white against the dark color on his lips. 

Dimitri kicked at the gravel underneath their feet. He took a deep breath and said, “Dedue, I don’t want this to end after camp.”  
  
Dedue nodded, his face solemn. “I don’t want it to, either.”

“I…” Dimitri started. He looked down, trying to figure out what he even wanted to say. “I wish you could just… come back to my house with me. Claude is visiting, you know. It would be a fun time.” He pressed his lips together. “I don’t even know what you do outside of camp. My apologies.”

“I teach middle school life science,” Dedue said. 

Dimitri gasped. “Wait, you’re a teacher?!” he exclaimed.

Dedue laughed. “This year was my first year.” He crossed his arms and Dimitri imagined him in a classroom. He was probably the best of the best. “It’s not easy, but it does give me pretty free summers,” Dedue added, “Maybe I can visit after Claude leaves? Just so you two can have your time together.”

Relief washed over Dimitri. It was a boundary. It was beautiful to hear. “Absolutely. Let me get the exact dates and get back to you. Maybe you can visit the last day and we can all spend time together.” He reached out for Dedue’s arm and squeezed it tight. “I… I adore you, but I need you to be able to get along with them. I hope you understand.”

“I do. I certainly have enjoyed the time I’ve spent with them this week,” Dedue said, “I hope they will feel the same toward me.”

As if it was planned, Claude and Edelgard appeared at Dimitri’s side, their hands on their hips. 

“Time to go,” Claude said, “Hey, Dedue. Sorry to cut this short.”

Dedue nodded. “I entirely understand,” he said. He leaned in and kissed Dimitri’s cheek. “Have a good night,” he said, his eyes focused on Dimitri’s. He bowed his head slightly to Claude and Edelgard before he walked toward the general direction of his cabin.

Dimitri stared ahead, his mind suddenly blank. He frantically pressed at his cheek and pulled back to see a purple smudge against it. There was no denying that just happened. He felt his cheeks burn and he covered his face briefly. He couldn’t believe that his week of camp was ending like this.

“Oh, so it’s like that!” Claude exclaimed, laughing.

Edelgard sighed and pulled Dimitri’s hand off of his face, wiping at his cheek. “This lipstick isn’t coming off,” she noted.

“It’ll be fine,” Dimitri said, unable to contain the grin on his face. “Seriously. Everything is going to be fine.” It felt strange to say something so confidently optimistic, but it felt right. There was no reason for him to feel otherwise for the first time in a long while.

Claude and Edelgard smiled back. He knew they believed him. 


End file.
